So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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