I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
