Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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