She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
