Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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