her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
