I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
