areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
