i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
