1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
COCAINE IS GR8
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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