i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
