I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
