i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
