I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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