I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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