I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
