You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
