High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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