Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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