She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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