All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
