I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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