I want to make a zoo with you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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