Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
