Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
