this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I did not marry a roomba.
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