I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
