my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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