party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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