Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sorry about my life...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
