I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize