just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
