There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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