I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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