oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize