wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
