no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
