why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
