Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
