is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
there is glitter all over my balls
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