No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
