I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
