Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize