on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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