don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
