He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
