You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
