the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
