I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
