You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
That's intense
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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