fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
