To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
