Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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