K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
