I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
honey bunches of taint.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
