I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
