I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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